50 Best Cruise Jokes Puns, & Sayings That Will Make You Laugh

If you’ve ever set sail on the high seas, you know that a cruise is not just about sun-soaked beaches and exquisite buffets; it’s also an opportunity to bond over hearty laughter. Whether lounging by the pool or enjoying a late-night comedy show onboard, a good joke can elevate any maritime adventure.

That’s why we’ve compiled the 50 Best Cruise Jokes Puns, and Sayings that will not only tickle your funny bone but also keep your spirits high as you navigate through waves of laughter.

From clever quips about life at sea to punny punchlines that could make even Neptune chuckle, this collection promises to be your ultimate companion for creating unforgettable memories with friends and family.

Short Cruise Jokes

• Ocean waves
• Colorful Cruise ship accident
• Marriage trouble
• Latest cruise ship trend 
• Cruise Ship Talk
• Nervous new cruiser
• No Leeks allowed
• Cruise crew joke
• Christmas cruise joke
• Marine life
• Bermuda Triangle
• The friendly sea
• Haunted cruise
• Mermaids
• Cruise ship sickness

Ocean Waves

What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing. They just waved

Colorful Cruise Ship Accident

Did you hear about the red cruise ship and the blue cruise ship that crashed into each other at sea?
All the survivors were marooned.

Marriage Trouble

I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.

Latest Cruise Ship Trend

Did you hear the latest trend is installing trampolines on cruise ships?
Now everyone is jumping on board.

 Cruise Ship Talk

What do you call an azipod that doesn’t work? 
A lazyload

Nervous New Cruiser

A nervous first-time cruiser asked the Captain, “Do ships like this sink very often?
” No, replied the Captain, “Usually only once.”

No Leeks Allowed

What vegetable isn’t allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks

Cruise Crew Joke

What’s it like working on a cruise ship?
It has its ups and downs.

Christmas Cruise Joke

Where does Santa go on vacation?
Santa Cruz

Marine Life

Why do fish swim in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Bermuda Triangle

What would you call the Bermuda Triangle if it had 4 corners? 
The Bermuda Wreck-Tangle

The Friendly Sea

How do we know we know the ocean is friendly?
It waves

Haunted Cruise

What do ghosts eat on a cruise?
I-Scream

Mermaids

What does a mermaid use to call her friends?
A shell phone of course!

Cruise Ship Sickness

Where do sick cruise ships go?
The Dock

Longer Cruise Jokes

• On a cruise ship deck
• Sinking cruise ship joke
• Inside cabin problems
• A Pirate in a Bar
• Popular cruise comedian joke
• Advice from the ocean

On a Cruise Ship Deck

A man is standing on deck, gazing out at the water. As the ship passes a small remote island, he spots somebody. He squints to make out what he sees – a thin, straggly man with wild-looking hair.

He watches as the man runs from side to side, jumps up and down, and waves his arm. The cruise passenger turns to the captain and says “What’s up with that guy?”
The captain shrugs and replies “I don’t know, but he’s happy to see us every year when we pass!”

Sinking Cruise Ship Joke

• A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea and the cruise passengers manage to escape on lifeboats. A woman asks the Captain “How far is the closest land?”“3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad, in which direction?
• She asks. The Captain replied “Down”

Inside Cabin Problems

• A couple called down to guest services, complaining that they were stuck and couldn’t get out of their cabin. 
• “What’s the issue?”, answered the purser. “There are only 2 doors”, replied the woman. “One is the bathroom and the other says Do Not Disturb.”

A Pirate in a Bar

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, “Hey, what’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Argh, I’ve got a bounty on my head.”What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Popular Cruise Comedian Joke

The showers in the cruise cabins are so small, that I just soap the walls and spin them around a few times!

Advice From the Ocean

Be sure of yourself, come out of your shell, take time to relax and coast, avoid pier pressure, and sea life’s beauty, don’t get tied down, make waves!

More Travel Jokes

• Airplane travel
• Flight trouble
• Emotional baggage

Airplane Travel

• What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
• The plane chocolate.

Flight Trouble

• Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?
• It was overbooked

Emotional Baggage

I told my suitcase there would be no cruise vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage!

Funny Things Overheard on a Cruise

• Cruise ship crew have been sharing some of the funny things they’ve heard cruise passengers say over the years. We’ve also heard a few things that have given us a chuckle as well.
• What time is the midnight buffet?
• What happens to the ice sculptures after they melt?
• To the Captain – “If you’re here, who’s driving the ship?” (please don’t say this) 
• Do these elevators go to the front of the ship?
• Does the crew sleep on board?
• Is the ocean salt water?
• When visiting Rome “I’m surprised the ruins are in such bad shape.”
• How do we know which pictures are ours?
• How do they get enough water to fill the cruise ship pools while out at sea?

Cruise Puns and One-liners

• I’m struggling with jokes today, so you’ll have to put up with this one-liner.
• Ok, in all seriousness, a good cruise pun often makes a fun, short, and sweet Instagram caption, or can even be used on a personalized cruise t-shirt or mug design.
• Cruiseitude (n)  a grumpy mood from lack of cruising.
• Thallosphile (n.) a person who loves the sea, oceans.
• See you soon.
• What happens on the cruise ship, stays on a cruise ship.
• I’m on vacation and I don’t give a ship.
• Ship happens.
• Feeling a little Nauti.
• Seas the day.
• Sea life’s beauty.
• Keep calm and cruise.
• Sorry, I was ship-faced.
• Happiness comes in waves.
• Cruise hair, don’t care.
• I have no cruise control, It’s like they book themselves.
• I need my vitamin sea.
• Whatever floats your boat.

Final Thoughts

Best Cruise jokes puns are a fantastic way to lighten the mood and bring smiles to both seasoned sailors and first-time cruisers alike. Whether you’re sharing laughs over dinner or entertaining friends on deck, these witty quips can enhance any cruising experience.

From clever nautical references to light-hearted travel humor, there’s a pun for every occasion at sea. Remember, humor is an essential part of creating memorable experiences during your voyage. So, gather your favorite funny cruise jokes and share them with fellow passengers to spread joy on your next adventure!

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